Dating in NYC is somewhat overwhelming, but also pretty exciting.
First off, there are just so many options. Girls with literally every type of personality that you can think of can be found in this city, and almost everyone is extremely intelligent and attractive. Models, foreigners, entrepreneurs, artists, architects, cancer researchers, investment bankers, nurses, authors...you name it, they're all here. Everyone you go out with is so freaking intriguing.
I'm not sure what happened, but I've been hit on quite a bit since I've moved here. I've had girls ask for MY number and ask ME out. Flattering to say the least. And the dates I've gone on have all been a blast. There are so many things to do in NYC and there are so many different restaurants and events that you can attend, it's not hard to pick literally anything and, as long as they're not weird, it's probably going to be a good time.
Oliver is (I guess to no one's surprise) the very best wingman ever. In a city where most guys are douches with showoff personalities and no class, a guy with a tiny, cute and friendly dog is probably a breath of fresh air. Obviously, being a wingman was never supposed to be something Oliver did, but...why wouldn't I play the best hand with the cards I have?
All that being said, if I find myself in a position where I can see myself in a relationship again, there are some things I have to remember:
1. Take it slow - I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to do the whole serious dating thing just yet. I probably won't be for a little while. Single life is kind of a fucking blast in this city. In my last relationship, I gave a lot a little too quick. But that's just my personality. When I go in on something, I go in 100%. Hobbies, jobs, relationships, etc... but there's value in being moderate and progressing at a steady pace.
2. Keep the bougie dates for special occasions - you gotta remember that you don't need to impress her with helicopter rides or $300 dinners. If she likes you for you, those other things won't matter. Drinks, guac and laughter will do just fine.
3. Less gifts. I have a habit of just going all out with gifts and just at random times. You gotta stop that. Sure, for special occasions they are necessary, but even then, keep it moderate. You don't need to go out and get diamonds.
4. Don't do long distance. Shit sucks. I had a really fun date with girl from Norway when she was in NYC, but I knew I wouldn't pursue that. It was just a fun time, and a good memory. Distance isn't only physical, it's also mental. It hasn't worked out in my favor, and it probably won't - so no more of that, unless there is some outstanding exception.
5. Don't overlook the smallest red flags. You've had experiences with some pretty different girls, and a few of them were off their rocker. Don't overlook your gut feeling for when you think there's a red flag. Turn around, pound feet, and GTFO. RIP her ego.
6. Your parents don't have to know right away. Obviously have to play this by ear, but they have an archaic way of thinking, and it definitely is unintended baggage for a girl. This has to be strategic, because you don't want the girl thinking there is something wrong with her, when it has nothing to do with her.
7. Dedicate time to yourself - you don't need to bend over, and hang out with her every time she asks. Saying you're busy isn't a bad thing and if she's offended by that, it's probably a red flag anyway. Don't skip the gym, keep yourself in shape, take the vacations that you want to take, and socialize with friends when you want.
8. Keep your priorities in check, but fluid. Right now, top priorities are Oliver, work, and money. The most important person for me right now is myself. This has been my way of life for the last year, and it's worked out in my favor so far. But, priorities can change, and you have to be cognizant enough to recognize when you need to change them. If there is someone you really see yourself with long into the future, do not give them up for a better paycheck. But if you don't see that - go for the paycheck lol.
At the end of the day, all I want is to be happy. And right now, I am super happy with my life and where everything is, and where it's headed. It's important to be independent and be able to live a life of laughter and fun just by yourself before getting serious with someone else. So many great memories have been made in such a short time here, and I can't wait for all the memories to come. Life is too short. Live it the fuck up.
First off, there are just so many options. Girls with literally every type of personality that you can think of can be found in this city, and almost everyone is extremely intelligent and attractive. Models, foreigners, entrepreneurs, artists, architects, cancer researchers, investment bankers, nurses, authors...you name it, they're all here. Everyone you go out with is so freaking intriguing.
I'm not sure what happened, but I've been hit on quite a bit since I've moved here. I've had girls ask for MY number and ask ME out. Flattering to say the least. And the dates I've gone on have all been a blast. There are so many things to do in NYC and there are so many different restaurants and events that you can attend, it's not hard to pick literally anything and, as long as they're not weird, it's probably going to be a good time.
Oliver is (I guess to no one's surprise) the very best wingman ever. In a city where most guys are douches with showoff personalities and no class, a guy with a tiny, cute and friendly dog is probably a breath of fresh air. Obviously, being a wingman was never supposed to be something Oliver did, but...why wouldn't I play the best hand with the cards I have?
All that being said, if I find myself in a position where I can see myself in a relationship again, there are some things I have to remember:
1. Take it slow - I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to do the whole serious dating thing just yet. I probably won't be for a little while. Single life is kind of a fucking blast in this city. In my last relationship, I gave a lot a little too quick. But that's just my personality. When I go in on something, I go in 100%. Hobbies, jobs, relationships, etc... but there's value in being moderate and progressing at a steady pace.
2. Keep the bougie dates for special occasions - you gotta remember that you don't need to impress her with helicopter rides or $300 dinners. If she likes you for you, those other things won't matter. Drinks, guac and laughter will do just fine.
3. Less gifts. I have a habit of just going all out with gifts and just at random times. You gotta stop that. Sure, for special occasions they are necessary, but even then, keep it moderate. You don't need to go out and get diamonds.
4. Don't do long distance. Shit sucks. I had a really fun date with girl from Norway when she was in NYC, but I knew I wouldn't pursue that. It was just a fun time, and a good memory. Distance isn't only physical, it's also mental. It hasn't worked out in my favor, and it probably won't - so no more of that, unless there is some outstanding exception.
5. Don't overlook the smallest red flags. You've had experiences with some pretty different girls, and a few of them were off their rocker. Don't overlook your gut feeling for when you think there's a red flag. Turn around, pound feet, and GTFO. RIP her ego.
6. Your parents don't have to know right away. Obviously have to play this by ear, but they have an archaic way of thinking, and it definitely is unintended baggage for a girl. This has to be strategic, because you don't want the girl thinking there is something wrong with her, when it has nothing to do with her.
7. Dedicate time to yourself - you don't need to bend over, and hang out with her every time she asks. Saying you're busy isn't a bad thing and if she's offended by that, it's probably a red flag anyway. Don't skip the gym, keep yourself in shape, take the vacations that you want to take, and socialize with friends when you want.
8. Keep your priorities in check, but fluid. Right now, top priorities are Oliver, work, and money. The most important person for me right now is myself. This has been my way of life for the last year, and it's worked out in my favor so far. But, priorities can change, and you have to be cognizant enough to recognize when you need to change them. If there is someone you really see yourself with long into the future, do not give them up for a better paycheck. But if you don't see that - go for the paycheck lol.
At the end of the day, all I want is to be happy. And right now, I am super happy with my life and where everything is, and where it's headed. It's important to be independent and be able to live a life of laughter and fun just by yourself before getting serious with someone else. So many great memories have been made in such a short time here, and I can't wait for all the memories to come. Life is too short. Live it the fuck up.
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