I'm sitting here in a Starbucks trying to figure out life as I don't have internet at my place yet. It's been an incredibly hectic and stressful few days, and I have no way to let it out as I don't have a gym membership yet. So I think I'll write.
On the last few years...
An interesting thing happened today. My sister is working as a car salesman at a dealership. She sent me a screenshot of an inquiry from almost exactly four years ago at that very dealership. The notes on the inquiry:
"Holding up deal - need person - 20 year old kid, doesn't qualify for loan for both credit and income. Needs cosigner, only makes $1200/month and very limited credit."
That 20 year old kid was me, Syed Kareem. Four years ago, I was struggling immensely. I was making $1200 a month, and my rent was $750 a month. I was skipping meals, working two jobs, dealing with my family hating me, and an awful, abusive ex-girlfriend. Along with that, I was going to school full time. I was barely keeping my head above water. I was grasping for straws at that dealership because I was getting desperate for a car, any fucking car.
Also I was 21, inquiring about a used Mazda 3 - just shows you how much respect they had for me.
Four years later, and my world is completely different. I have a sick apartment and will be making a heck of a lot more money as I work my dream job. My relationship with my family has improved over the last 3 years. It's really humbling to look back on all that's happened the last few years, and seeing how much has changed.
All the struggles and times I really wanted to just run away and never look back, all that perseverance made it worth it.
On 2017 and leaving CLE...
2017 was a year that was just about as unpredictable as anything. If someone told me this is how my year would end up - single and in New York City, I'd say you were crazy. I didn't envision any of those things happening now or ever to be honest. I thought I was going to be with my ex forever and I thought I was going to stay in Cleveland currently, or move to St. Louis if the opportunity came up, with the long term goal of Chicago when I decided I'd move over to the buy side.
Yeah...my life has never gone according to plan, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Honestly, as I sit here I'm still not a fan of NYC but I think my dad's health was reason enough to come back. After the breakup, I was pretty much settling on the idea that Cleveland was going to be my home for at least another couple years before heading to Chicago. I was crushing it at my job after struggling for a bit, and this started conversations on becoming an analyst in 3 years. Everything seemed like it was going to be okay.
Then we had a health scare with my dad, and coincidentally a recruiter reached out to me asking if I was interested in an opportunity in NYC right around that time. That kind of put things into perspective and I realized there was no reason for me to be in Cleveland if I was able to get this opportunity in NYC.
Long story short, it panned out. If I wasn't single, I don't know if I would have made the same decision as my dad did get better quickly. And I wouldn't have regretted staying either. This wasn't really a money driven move, but it's not bad to get paid more. I'm glad I left my company on great terms - they said if I ever find myself back in Cleveland, they'll always have a job waiting for me. It was mutually sad to leave such a great place.
With such a huge change, I've been really nervous, something that's not normal for me. I'm usually pretty good about keeping my shit together, but this time it has got me feeling uneasy. But maybe it's a good thing. It means I'm stepping out of my comfort zone once more, and I'm about to learn something amazing that will help shape me into the person I will be in the future, regardless of if I'm successful at the new job or not. Every time I've felt this way in the past, valuable lessons and skills were learned that shaped me into who I am today. I know the nervousness will go away as I get adjusted, but I just wanted to note this because I know this won't be the last time I feel this way.
Being in such a fast paced setting, I have to remember to stay the person that I am, because I can already tell there's a stark contrast between my personality and the people here. There's way less compassion and people seem to be after a quick buck around every corner. And that's in the wealthy neighborhood that I chose to live in. I've always prided myself in being a person that doesn't treat anyone different, regardless of who they are. I want to continue being that person.
The CEO of the company I just left sat me down and gave me parting advice: figure out the four things that are most important to you and do everything in life in a way that values those things. For him, it was his company, his faith, being a good father, and being a good husband. I think I have to figure those four things out as I'm not sure where I would prioritize things. Well honestly, career is a priority and it is ranked highly, but I'm not sure of the other 3. But I hope that 2018 is a year that will helps me discover one or the rest of them.
One last thought...
I know this means saying goodbye to any hope that I was holding onto of reconnecting with her. Which sucks. A lot. She'd never move to NYC. I wholeheartedly wish her the best in everything she does. She's smart and beautiful and every other great quality under the sun. She'll go far in life, and I hope our paths cross one day again, so I can hear about all her accomplishment and be really happy for her.
In the words of Winnie the Pooh, "How lucky I am to have something that makes it hard to say goodbye."
On the last few years...
An interesting thing happened today. My sister is working as a car salesman at a dealership. She sent me a screenshot of an inquiry from almost exactly four years ago at that very dealership. The notes on the inquiry:
"Holding up deal - need person - 20 year old kid, doesn't qualify for loan for both credit and income. Needs cosigner, only makes $1200/month and very limited credit."
That 20 year old kid was me, Syed Kareem. Four years ago, I was struggling immensely. I was making $1200 a month, and my rent was $750 a month. I was skipping meals, working two jobs, dealing with my family hating me, and an awful, abusive ex-girlfriend. Along with that, I was going to school full time. I was barely keeping my head above water. I was grasping for straws at that dealership because I was getting desperate for a car, any fucking car.
Also I was 21, inquiring about a used Mazda 3 - just shows you how much respect they had for me.
Four years later, and my world is completely different. I have a sick apartment and will be making a heck of a lot more money as I work my dream job. My relationship with my family has improved over the last 3 years. It's really humbling to look back on all that's happened the last few years, and seeing how much has changed.
All the struggles and times I really wanted to just run away and never look back, all that perseverance made it worth it.
On 2017 and leaving CLE...
2017 was a year that was just about as unpredictable as anything. If someone told me this is how my year would end up - single and in New York City, I'd say you were crazy. I didn't envision any of those things happening now or ever to be honest. I thought I was going to be with my ex forever and I thought I was going to stay in Cleveland currently, or move to St. Louis if the opportunity came up, with the long term goal of Chicago when I decided I'd move over to the buy side.
Yeah...my life has never gone according to plan, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Honestly, as I sit here I'm still not a fan of NYC but I think my dad's health was reason enough to come back. After the breakup, I was pretty much settling on the idea that Cleveland was going to be my home for at least another couple years before heading to Chicago. I was crushing it at my job after struggling for a bit, and this started conversations on becoming an analyst in 3 years. Everything seemed like it was going to be okay.
Then we had a health scare with my dad, and coincidentally a recruiter reached out to me asking if I was interested in an opportunity in NYC right around that time. That kind of put things into perspective and I realized there was no reason for me to be in Cleveland if I was able to get this opportunity in NYC.
Long story short, it panned out. If I wasn't single, I don't know if I would have made the same decision as my dad did get better quickly. And I wouldn't have regretted staying either. This wasn't really a money driven move, but it's not bad to get paid more. I'm glad I left my company on great terms - they said if I ever find myself back in Cleveland, they'll always have a job waiting for me. It was mutually sad to leave such a great place.
With such a huge change, I've been really nervous, something that's not normal for me. I'm usually pretty good about keeping my shit together, but this time it has got me feeling uneasy. But maybe it's a good thing. It means I'm stepping out of my comfort zone once more, and I'm about to learn something amazing that will help shape me into the person I will be in the future, regardless of if I'm successful at the new job or not. Every time I've felt this way in the past, valuable lessons and skills were learned that shaped me into who I am today. I know the nervousness will go away as I get adjusted, but I just wanted to note this because I know this won't be the last time I feel this way.
Being in such a fast paced setting, I have to remember to stay the person that I am, because I can already tell there's a stark contrast between my personality and the people here. There's way less compassion and people seem to be after a quick buck around every corner. And that's in the wealthy neighborhood that I chose to live in. I've always prided myself in being a person that doesn't treat anyone different, regardless of who they are. I want to continue being that person.
The CEO of the company I just left sat me down and gave me parting advice: figure out the four things that are most important to you and do everything in life in a way that values those things. For him, it was his company, his faith, being a good father, and being a good husband. I think I have to figure those four things out as I'm not sure where I would prioritize things. Well honestly, career is a priority and it is ranked highly, but I'm not sure of the other 3. But I hope that 2018 is a year that will helps me discover one or the rest of them.
One last thought...
I know this means saying goodbye to any hope that I was holding onto of reconnecting with her. Which sucks. A lot. She'd never move to NYC. I wholeheartedly wish her the best in everything she does. She's smart and beautiful and every other great quality under the sun. She'll go far in life, and I hope our paths cross one day again, so I can hear about all her accomplishment and be really happy for her.
In the words of Winnie the Pooh, "How lucky I am to have something that makes it hard to say goodbye."
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