Laziness Is a Drug

I really need to get back on track with my MCAT stuff. The last few days, all I have been doing is anything but studying. I don't know, my motivation to study has just totally diminished. I wake up every morning thinking, yeah, I'm going to study so much today, and get so much done. But when it comes time to do it, I just don't. I find other things to do, like catch up on The Walking Dead, which is a great show by the way, or washing my WRX, or reading 1984, by George Orwell. It was one of those books I always wanted to read, but never got to.

It might have something to do with the weather being so bad. But I think I need to step up and stop being so lazy. Laziness is a drug, after all. My exam is on July 13, and that's just over a month away. I need to start doing more and more practice. I know that if worst comes to worst, I can always change the date for some time in August. But I don't know if I want to spend any more of my summer for this. 

I guess that's the life of a future doctor, though. It is one of the things about this field that I really hate. The amount of time you are required to commit to this is very draining sometimes, and I'm not even in medical school yet. Maybe I burned myself out, because I haven't had a break since school ended or anything. I haven't been able to get away and do something fun, to refresh my brain so I can think straight and hit the books hard. It becomes a  mess up there, and all I can think about on some days is where my life will be a year from now. Because, regardless of how I do on these MCAT's, everything is going to change in the next year.

I guess I should stop writing now. I feel pretty awful, and it has nothing to do with my laziness. I want to study now, but I also don't want to study. I feel like it's useless tonight because of how I feel. Maybe I'll go for a long drive, to Krispy Kreme or something because it's National Donut Day. Or maybe I won't because I need to stay healthy and the weather is also nasty. I think what's going to happen is I'm going to continue with 1984. Books always distract me from things.

------------

While I'm off chasing my own dreams,

Sailing around the world, 

Please know that I'm yours to keep

My beautiful girl.